Thursday, November 19, 2009

Red Bull

After several months of deliberating, I have taken into my possession the hitherto unclaimed 250ml can of Red Bull from the communal office fridge.

This is based on the knowledge that:
  1. I often buy multiple cans at the same time, when they're on special.
  2. It is not inconceivable that I would store it in the fridge to keep cool, just highly unlikely that I would make it to the fridge without drinking it on the way.
  3. I have a terrible memory. If I did store it, I would forget. This would explain why it has been unclaimed for around three months.
  4. No one else here, to my knowledge, consumes energy drinks.
  5. No one here, to my knowledge, reads my blog, so they won't know it was me. And I eliminated all witnesses. Mwuhahahaha.
  6. Ha.
  7. Ha.

WIIIIIIIIINGS.

That being said, I don't think I really require an energy hit right now. But I'm not sure I can return it to the fridge without anyone noticing. Also, then this whole Spiel might start again:

There's an unclaimed can of Red Bull in the fridge.
It could be mine.
I am the most likely candidate as owner.
If I do take it no one will know.
If it IS mine, I have been missing out.

One week later: that can is still there.
Ditto.
Ditto.

PS: some people have suggested attaching a note to it, asking if anyone else stakes a claim. But that wouldn't be diabolical enough.
PPS: just taking it isn't particularly diabolical either, more a case of petty larceny.